some good resources on casual degrading/humiliation and casual gaslighting to help improve my skillset?
Gaslighting is just bullying, and bad for any relationship unless you’re both in it for that particular kink.
Casual humiliation comes down to your own attitude.
Let me put it this way. Does your car have any say whatsoever in:
- When you use it
- Where you drive it
- Who you lend it to
- Any passengers you take
- The things you haul with it
- The maintenance schedule
- When/if you wash it
- Where you keep it
- How hot/cold it is
- How much trash is inside
When you own an object, its “opinion” is a preposterous idea.
The next level is a pet. A pet is your property, but is also a living being, and that gives you special responsibilities to keep it alive and well. However, most of that pet’s opinions once again don’t matter.
When you own a slave, their status will be somewhere along the line between object and pet (or perhaps even more towards “daughter” for ddlg). You choose what control you will take over her, and that level of ownership gives you natural rights over her.
Where I’m going with all of this:
When you own something, you just naturally make casual use of it. When you own a slave, how you use her is what trains her to your rhythm. Casual humiliation is simply taking what’s already yours whenever you feel like it, sometimes because it’s what you want at the moment, other times just to prove a point (to her or to yourself or both). It’s the regular day-to-day humiliation of accepting whatever you do to her that keeps her in her place, both physically and psychologically, always aware and accepting of her station. Whether that’s leading her around the house by a leash and tethering her wherever, deciding her clothes, swatting her ass, grabbing her, manhandling her, grounding her, making her adhere to your protocols, locking her up… whatever. It doesn’t matter WHAT you do, so long as you’re doing it BECAUSE IT IS YOUR RIGHT TO DO IT.
Casual humiliation comes naturally with real ownership, because it is the normal, natural state of things in such a relationship.