“Rule #5: Pet will eat her meals on the floor.”
As I’ve mentioned, my girlfriend was doing poorly with this particular rule, even despite it’s abridged permission for her to simply sit on the floor while eating in a normal fashion with utensils. Then last weekend that changed, as she spontaneously offered to eat a meal in proper pet style. She did this because she felt I was exceeding her expectations as a caring, providing partner, and wanted to push herself to fulfill me as much as I was fulfilling her.
In preparation for this potential development (albeit, with little optimism of it being something that would happen so soon), I had acquired a pet mat and a pair of pet dishes. I fetched them out, and filled a dish with cereal and milk on Saturday morning. The mat went down on the floor, and the bowl on the mat. She kneeled in front of it naked, looking up at me with her big eyes and giving a brave, cute face. I knew this was hard for her, but appreciated all the effort she was putting into the performance.
Down onto all fours she went, hands flat on the mat on either side of the bowl. With each bite, her head would dip down into the bowl as her ass would poke into the air. It’s a rather flattering, sexual pose. One of her concerns about the whole act was thinking she would look horrible while doing it. The opposite is quite true. “Face down, ass up,” is a common statement for what men want. There’s some consideration as to what that says of our society, or trouble that men may have with anything approximating intimacy or equality in sex. But I wager there’s at least some contribution from our ape ancestors.
I’m not sure if explaining it that way is any better.
We’ll just say that it’s hot.
As the level of cereal in the dish lowered, she would have to work harder to reach it, dipping her head down more, and longer. The human face isn’t expertly made for this sort of eating. We do have hands for a reason. As a result, there’s extra effort, with her ass high longer, and her face moving about in the bowl to pin down reluctant morsels.
It’s degrading. That’s part of the kink, of course. The appeal. Like tying a submissive up, making them suck on a wall-mounted toy, or beating them with a belt. It’s not for everyone, and not every kink is equal in every person’s eyes. Your mileage may vary.
We talked about it afterward. I was careful to thank her, to reassure her, and to make it clear how much I respect her. To those would-be dominants that think otherwise, I have to admonish you about this: mutual respect and care is what makes D/s not abuse. And what keeps your submissive partner coming back wanting more. They need to trust you, and you need to trust them.
She said it was hard in two ways. First off, it was degrading. Even when you’re into degradation as a form of play, it doesn’t mean it’s automatically easy. Secondly, it was also difficult. Eating that way takes a lot of effort.
Despite this, she gave me something more. Something amazing. She said that she would let me take the lead with feeding like this. So on Sunday, I fed her lunch like so. And one night this week, we came home from work, I stripped her down with her daily ritual that separates work from home, and then I cooked a meal that she ate again like a pet on the floor.
She hasn’t slowed down or showed increased reluctance. She is amazed by her increased willingness. But there’s no secret to this breakthrough. I’ve nurtured her ability to trust me, and to trust her instinct for submissiveness. I’ve given her many things that she needs and wants, actively fed her cravings. In exchange for this… in exchange for services I’m glad to give her as her dominant, I am now reaping the rewards.
I plan on taking the gift that’s been given and working on making it a permanent lifestyle change. Some research has shown that it takes an average of 66 days to form a habit (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-clear/forming-new-habits_b_5104807.html), so over the next couple months I’ll be carefully continuing to take the lead that she’s offered me, carefully increasing the frequency of such meals while monitoring her responses.
Never take progress for granted. Just because a seed has sprouted doesn’t mean you can ignore it until harvest.
Now, pardon me. I’ve got to go put dinner in the oven. Thirty minutes from now, I’ll be sitting down at the table, and her on the floor beside it, for a nice meal.